One of my favorite books, “A Gift from the SEA” by Anne Morrow Lindbergh is a beautiful chronicle of life, love and the pursuit of peace. Her calming reflections on relationships, freedom, work and seashells are forever locked in my heart. Her writing is art-like made up of words, a true gift I forever cherish. If you don’t have this book, do not walk, RUN and get a copy.
As I lie in bed, pondering the ever complicated and often supernatural dynamics of friendship, Linda’s most adorable teal blue cover calls my name! I skim my many underlined pages, highlights etc. only to come to one major conclusion: Friendship, good friendship, begins with me.
I know the saying, “It starts with you” sounds very cliché and super annoying so I promise to propose a slightly different perspective :) Lets talk about freedom and how ones relationship with freedom not only impacts daily routines but most significantly, relationships. And no I am not talking about the kind of freedoms we experience as United States citizens. I am talking about inner freedom. The kind of freedom one receives in exchange for struggles and experience, change and loss life brings. As we dance between waves of joy and a waves of unexpected sadness and loss, how can we learn well and look forward with hope in our eyes?? Your relationship with Inner freedom is how.
I would love for you to get out a piece of paper. Make a list of the things that create anxiety, fear, confusion and insecurities in your life. Ok, I will go first: Did I hurt so in so’s feelings? Do I have enough money for (fill in the blank). Am I getting older by the day?(wrinkles) Does my job really matter?(of course not) This list could go on…and on. And in many cases this list is a collection of complete lies.
Our list can keep us from experiencing inner freedom and thus likely impede on the personal relationship we have with ourselves. One by one, try and identify consistent thoughts that pollute how you feel and how you see yourself. Thoughts that get in the way of you waking up feeling at peace with your life. What habits or choices block you from experiencing hopeful, healthy, loving thoughts that promote…inner freedom? Inner freedom comes when we understand how to love ourselves because we were first loved! We were created! With a plan in mind for a purpose greater than we can imagine! When we can accept ourselves and actually admire all the imperfections and uniqueness, our free spirit is contagious and friendships blossom.
The more honest we are with ourselves…the more comfortable we become with who we are. It’s like the more you get to know someone (flaws and all) the more you actually adore them! It’s the hiding, and avoiding that creates chaos in our lives. The more we accept the story that is US; the more we honor the good, the bad and grow out of the ugly with healthy attention and work…the better friend to ourselves we will be. Thus? The better friend to others we will be. Waves of all different shapes and sizes will come on this side of heaven and so choose to face them, ride them and swim in them. I promise with an honest and real approach to all that is you, your heart will blossom into a free, OK, hopeful & excited about the ride kind of girl.